Monday, May 30, 2005
yes, I am being lazy
Before anyone comments on the fact that all of my last few blogs have been pretty lazy, in that I have just used stuff from the internet, yes, you are right. But in all truthfulness, I really haven't had anything remotely exciting or even worth talking about this week, so I am running low on ideas. Next week, I plan to be much more exciting and fun....
I love finding little gems like this on the net. Anything to distract me from the work I am supposed to be doing! I dare you to try out some of these just to liven up those endless days at work...
Office Dares
Thing to keep you occupied at the office while you avoid work !
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed
2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.
6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem - (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist. 18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you - here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Office Dares
Thing to keep you occupied at the office while you avoid work !
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed
2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.
6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem - (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist. 18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you - here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Check this out
http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/oa/whatdoyousee.pps
Are you a dirty pervert or an innocent little angel?
Are you a dirty pervert or an innocent little angel?
Only in America...
'San Francisco's Center for Sex and Culture played host on Saturday to the city's annual "Masturbate-a-thon," an event its organizers said could draw up to 120 people from across the United States aiming to have a good time with themselves.
The event was organized to help raise funds for the center, and, according to its organizer, provide an outlet for safe sex for those who enjoy pleasuring themselves in a semi-public setting.
The Saturday night event also had a competitive side.
One New York man arrived shortly after 5 p.m. seeking to break the endurance six-and-a-half hour record set at last year's event. The rules allow for a five-minute break every hour.
The female marathon winner last year, Norine Dworkin, chronicled her experiences in the women's magazine Marie Claire, saying hours later the activity was "about as pleasurable as rubbing an elbow."
This year, others like Tony, who gave only his first name, attended the event to indulge in exhibitionist behavior in front of other people.
"I grew up believing that this is a horrible, nasty thing you shouldn't overdo," said Tony who is from California's Central Valley. "The whole point is coming out and making love to your best friend."'
Interesting, I think Tony needs to make some real friends...
The event was organized to help raise funds for the center, and, according to its organizer, provide an outlet for safe sex for those who enjoy pleasuring themselves in a semi-public setting.
The Saturday night event also had a competitive side.
One New York man arrived shortly after 5 p.m. seeking to break the endurance six-and-a-half hour record set at last year's event. The rules allow for a five-minute break every hour.
The female marathon winner last year, Norine Dworkin, chronicled her experiences in the women's magazine Marie Claire, saying hours later the activity was "about as pleasurable as rubbing an elbow."
This year, others like Tony, who gave only his first name, attended the event to indulge in exhibitionist behavior in front of other people.
"I grew up believing that this is a horrible, nasty thing you shouldn't overdo," said Tony who is from California's Central Valley. "The whole point is coming out and making love to your best friend."'
Interesting, I think Tony needs to make some real friends...
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Heatwave!
England is finally getting some sun! After a cool, showery beginning of May,(I could be a weather presenter), we are getting a heatwave! Friday was the hottest day in May for 50 years. It actually hit 31! And didn't we know it. It was sooooo hot. There's me thinking I'm clever for nabbing mum's car for the day,(with air conditioning), and then the damn thing didn't work. I was actually melting! Two hour drive in the car with no air con. Damn it. But its nice to know its going to be a good summer. Even though it means that global warming is kicking in, but on the other hand, nice tan. It's cooled down a bit for the weekend, but still pretty nice. And the rest of summer is supposed to be crazy weather, 100 most days. Not sure how I'll cope with that, if I'm getting hot and sweaty at night I want it to be for a good reason, not cos the weather is hot!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Today I am feeling happier than my last blog. People are still irritating me, although this time it is those awful English tourists who invade Hunstanton like the swarm of ladybirds we had a few years back and who were equally annoying. Driving through town now requires reactions like a Jedi Knight to avoid the idiots who seem to be playing chicken with the cars.
Anyway, I am a lot happier. I went out last night and didn't get too drunk or do anything stupid. I got to watch a fight outside the kebab shop, and I got a lift home from Michaela which meant that I didn't have to walk in my too high shoes. Score.
I had a good day generally yesterday. I had my Friday lunch date with James (old friend from school) and then met up with Leon on the way home. It was kind of cool to say I met two men yesterday, one for lunch, one for dinner, but in reality, neither 'dates' were like that. But it was fun to say.
Anyway, Leon is leaving for Cyprus on Tuesday for 6 months, and I am prety sad about that. Although I am cheered a little by the thought of a free holiday... and the fact he said he would send me presents on a daily basis and find a nice cypriot god like man to send home for me too. But I will miss him loads, although we don't catch up as much as we should, its always nice to know he's nearby. I'll miss ya hun!
Anyway, I am a lot happier. I went out last night and didn't get too drunk or do anything stupid. I got to watch a fight outside the kebab shop, and I got a lift home from Michaela which meant that I didn't have to walk in my too high shoes. Score.
I had a good day generally yesterday. I had my Friday lunch date with James (old friend from school) and then met up with Leon on the way home. It was kind of cool to say I met two men yesterday, one for lunch, one for dinner, but in reality, neither 'dates' were like that. But it was fun to say.
Anyway, Leon is leaving for Cyprus on Tuesday for 6 months, and I am prety sad about that. Although I am cheered a little by the thought of a free holiday... and the fact he said he would send me presents on a daily basis and find a nice cypriot god like man to send home for me too. But I will miss him loads, although we don't catch up as much as we should, its always nice to know he's nearby. I'll miss ya hun!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
antisocial
I keep meaning to write this week, but as yet, this is as far as I have got. And it is not going to be the best attemptS. I am feeling really anti-social this week. I think there is a conspiracy to wind me up. I think people are being deliberately annoying. Some people are just so stupid, it really must be an act. Are there really people that dumb? And if so, why are they allowed out without supervision and to places where other people will be.
And, while I am on a rant, why do they put idiots like this on television. We can't escape from them during the day, and now we can't escape from them when we are trying to relax.
I dont like people today.
PS. Speaking of idiots, I hear the Americans have been handing out Viagra free of charge to some of their most dangerous sex offenders. Good idea. I really don't know what else to say about that!
And, while I am on a rant, why do they put idiots like this on television. We can't escape from them during the day, and now we can't escape from them when we are trying to relax.
I dont like people today.
PS. Speaking of idiots, I hear the Americans have been handing out Viagra free of charge to some of their most dangerous sex offenders. Good idea. I really don't know what else to say about that!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Just lie back and think of England
Eurovision fever has hit the country. Well, slight exageration. More like a few loyal fans will be forfitting their Saturday night to watch possibly the worst ever song contest. Which is why we love it. It's so bad that its good. Almost. And lets face it, it's alway funny when the scores come out. Its a perfect forecourt for European countries, or EBU countries,( explaining the presence of a load of counties I've never heard of) to show who they don't like. It isn't even about the songs anymore. The same coutries always vote for each other despite the quality of the song. Cyprus will vote for Greece, Greece will vote for Cyprus, the Baltic countries always vote for each other, the Scandinavian's stick together, and Germany is last, like the fat kid in gym class that nnobody likes.
This year, the UK, Malta and Cyprus exchange goodwill points, while Ireland's eight points to its nearest neighbour saved singer Javine from the 'nul points' shame of last year.
Critics say the competition is marred by tactical voting. Last night saw the last four places go to Spain, the United Kingdom, France and Germany. Wonder why?
Turkey, however, caused the auditorium to erupt when they presented their old adversary Greece with full marks. First time for everything!
And Eurovision wouldn't be Eurovision without Terry Wogan and his commentary. This man takes not taking it seriously, seriously. He spends his time mocking the competition and yet year on year he is again the face of Eurovision. And it really is classic.
Woganisms
'Lie back and think of England.'
'It's a battle between the singing and the hair.'
'I wouldn't suggest you tactically vote... but use your vote wisely.'
'I like the Portugese song - thats the kiss of death of course.'
'Put the kettle on mother, its going to be a long night.'
'There's skin and hair flying in all directions.'
'Does anyone know where Maldova is?'
'I believe you are in league with the butcher.'
'There's a flash of Maltese leg coming up, that I think you'll enjoy.'
'The UK have nil points, send the gun boat.'
'Oh look, its Doctor Death and the Tooth Fairy.'
The songs from Eurovision really are possibly the worst songs you will ever hear. With the worst singers. And they really did excell themselves in cheesy, badly written songs this year. By the way, congratulations Greece.
This year, the UK, Malta and Cyprus exchange goodwill points, while Ireland's eight points to its nearest neighbour saved singer Javine from the 'nul points' shame of last year.
Critics say the competition is marred by tactical voting. Last night saw the last four places go to Spain, the United Kingdom, France and Germany. Wonder why?
Turkey, however, caused the auditorium to erupt when they presented their old adversary Greece with full marks. First time for everything!
And Eurovision wouldn't be Eurovision without Terry Wogan and his commentary. This man takes not taking it seriously, seriously. He spends his time mocking the competition and yet year on year he is again the face of Eurovision. And it really is classic.
Woganisms
'Lie back and think of England.'
'It's a battle between the singing and the hair.'
'I wouldn't suggest you tactically vote... but use your vote wisely.'
'I like the Portugese song - thats the kiss of death of course.'
'Put the kettle on mother, its going to be a long night.'
'There's skin and hair flying in all directions.'
'Does anyone know where Maldova is?'
'I believe you are in league with the butcher.'
'There's a flash of Maltese leg coming up, that I think you'll enjoy.'
'The UK have nil points, send the gun boat.'
'Oh look, its Doctor Death and the Tooth Fairy.'
The songs from Eurovision really are possibly the worst songs you will ever hear. With the worst singers. And they really did excell themselves in cheesy, badly written songs this year. By the way, congratulations Greece.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
RIP hair straightner and car
This week has been a sad week for me. I have had to accept the fact that I have to say goodbye to both my hair straightner and my car. Sigh. The two most important objects in my life and they are both dying. I feel that a visit to the shrink may be required to get over my grief.
My hair straightner has served me well, has made my scraggy mess of hair look sleek and shiny. Now I am torn between buying the same straightner as before or trying soemthing new, which may in fatc be worse or better than my old ones. Do I take the risk. Help. I need advice!
My car however, has sometimes served me well, the rest of the time being a black hole for money and having a second home at the garage. However, I do feel sad it is going. I seem to get very attached to useless pieces of junk...(no jokes about the ex boyfriends.)
Anyway, now I have to find a cheap, but reliable car. I have a very limited budget considering I am in the middle of buying a house. Damn it. Anyone looking to give away a car, please let me know.
RIP car and straightners.
My hair straightner has served me well, has made my scraggy mess of hair look sleek and shiny. Now I am torn between buying the same straightner as before or trying soemthing new, which may in fatc be worse or better than my old ones. Do I take the risk. Help. I need advice!
My car however, has sometimes served me well, the rest of the time being a black hole for money and having a second home at the garage. However, I do feel sad it is going. I seem to get very attached to useless pieces of junk...(no jokes about the ex boyfriends.)
Anyway, now I have to find a cheap, but reliable car. I have a very limited budget considering I am in the middle of buying a house. Damn it. Anyone looking to give away a car, please let me know.
RIP car and straightners.
Ode to a wine box
I have been thinking recently about how undervalued a box of wine is. We like to buy bottles and feel classy, which makes us overlook the wine box. Its cheaper, you get more and its always fun to take the bag out of it and squeeze out the last remaining drops, preferably straight into your mouth.
I also have strong feelings about Marmite. I really think it deserves its own food group classification.
Busy getting work done the other day, I found out there is actually a Marmite fan club, that I am proud to say of which I am now a member. They have recipes and write poetry about Marmite. At last I feel like I belong...
www.marmite.co.uk - give it a try.
I also have strong feelings about Marmite. I really think it deserves its own food group classification.
Busy getting work done the other day, I found out there is actually a Marmite fan club, that I am proud to say of which I am now a member. They have recipes and write poetry about Marmite. At last I feel like I belong...
www.marmite.co.uk - give it a try.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Friday the 13th
Today is Friday 13th. The day people with Paraskevidekatriaphobia have been dreading since, umm the last one. August last year according to the calendar. Well, rest assured, there isn't another one this year. Why do people fear this date? I heard somewhere that is was something to do with the amount of people at the last supper. Which if I knew anything about religion would make me go. ooohhh. As if it suddenly made sense. But as I dont, I may have to google it to find out more and share it with you.
Things I have found out about Friday 13th.
1. According to Dr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of phobias and coiner of the term "paraskevidekatriaphobia," the figure may be as high as 21 million Americans suffering from the morbid fear of Friday 13th.
2. It is said: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, all will die within the year. Which I vaguely remember from Harry Potter.
3. Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. We don't have a 13th room or a table 13 in our hotel.
4. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). Luckily mine doesn't.
5. It has been proposed, for example, that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, so he could not count higher than 12, according to this explanation. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery, hence an object of superstition. Apparently the primitative man did not have toes...
6. The Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday?
7. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck – as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday ... One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell once and for all the widespread superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned, named "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday, and was never seen or heard from again.
8.Any month with a Friday the 13th must begin with a Sunday the 1st. Curiosity leads one to ask if a significance lies in the observation that only months that begin with the day God decided to rest (Sunday), after "creating the world," yield a day of such supposed demonic evil and misfortune.
9.There are 13 members which make up a Wiccan/Pagan Coven to fully cast the Circle. 13 was sacred because it represented the amount of lunar months in year (Thirteen Full Moons).
10. A TRISKAIDEKAPHOBE is one who fears the number 13.
11. A giant asteroid is to pass perilously close to Earth - on Friday, April 13, 2029. Scientists said asteroid 2004 MN4 will make the closest fly-by of Earth for an object of its size in recorded history.
The asteroid, the size of three football pitches, will pass between the Earth and the Moon, though astronomers say there is little chance of a collision.
It is expected to pass 22,600 miles from Earth and will probably be visible to the naked eye from Britain.
12. Winston Churchill was known to put off travelling by air or road on Friday the 13th.
13. It was discovered in a study published in the British Medical Journal in 1993 concerning Friday the 13th, that the risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52%.
Well, there you go. You learn something new every day.
Things I have found out about Friday 13th.
1. According to Dr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of phobias and coiner of the term "paraskevidekatriaphobia," the figure may be as high as 21 million Americans suffering from the morbid fear of Friday 13th.
2. It is said: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, all will die within the year. Which I vaguely remember from Harry Potter.
3. Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. We don't have a 13th room or a table 13 in our hotel.
4. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). Luckily mine doesn't.
5. It has been proposed, for example, that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, so he could not count higher than 12, according to this explanation. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery, hence an object of superstition. Apparently the primitative man did not have toes...
6. The Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday?
7. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck – as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday ... One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell once and for all the widespread superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned, named "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday, and was never seen or heard from again.
8.Any month with a Friday the 13th must begin with a Sunday the 1st. Curiosity leads one to ask if a significance lies in the observation that only months that begin with the day God decided to rest (Sunday), after "creating the world," yield a day of such supposed demonic evil and misfortune.
9.There are 13 members which make up a Wiccan/Pagan Coven to fully cast the Circle. 13 was sacred because it represented the amount of lunar months in year (Thirteen Full Moons).
10. A TRISKAIDEKAPHOBE is one who fears the number 13.
11. A giant asteroid is to pass perilously close to Earth - on Friday, April 13, 2029. Scientists said asteroid 2004 MN4 will make the closest fly-by of Earth for an object of its size in recorded history.
The asteroid, the size of three football pitches, will pass between the Earth and the Moon, though astronomers say there is little chance of a collision.
It is expected to pass 22,600 miles from Earth and will probably be visible to the naked eye from Britain.
12. Winston Churchill was known to put off travelling by air or road on Friday the 13th.
13. It was discovered in a study published in the British Medical Journal in 1993 concerning Friday the 13th, that the risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52%.
Well, there you go. You learn something new every day.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sunday Sunday
Helloo. I am up and out and about. So I have already surpassed yesterdays effort. Good job. Although after a whole day of lazing about yesterday I did do some laundry, (and managed to shrink dads new jumper. Which is now safely hidden in the bottom of the laundry basket again. The idea being someone else will put it in to wash and then take the blame.) Cunning plan.
Anyway, today I was up early, getting things done, and I feel like I am a little less worthless now.
Tomorrow is back to work. I don't like Sundays. I feel like weekends as a whole are a bit of a let down. You spend all week long waiting for Friday, then Saturday tends to be spent in a hungover daze, and then Sunday is spent preparing for work the next day. I wish weekends were one day longer. That would be cool. Although I can't really guarantee that I would spend that extra day doing something worthwhile. Chances are I would just have an extra day to spend in bed. So maybe its not such a good idea. hmm.
Anyway, today I was up early, getting things done, and I feel like I am a little less worthless now.
Tomorrow is back to work. I don't like Sundays. I feel like weekends as a whole are a bit of a let down. You spend all week long waiting for Friday, then Saturday tends to be spent in a hungover daze, and then Sunday is spent preparing for work the next day. I wish weekends were one day longer. That would be cool. Although I can't really guarantee that I would spend that extra day doing something worthwhile. Chances are I would just have an extra day to spend in bed. So maybe its not such a good idea. hmm.
I'm strong to the finish, cos I eats my spinach....
This week work actually became fun. I finally felt like I knew enough to relax and enjoy it rather than dread it. The team I work with is great, apart from that one annoying guy who seems to exist in every office in the world. Think David Brent from the office and you would be getting close.
Anyway, there is this guy from another team in the office, who I have spoken to once or twice and seems ok, apart from being a weight lifting fanatic with a penchant for steroids and a head that now looks too small for his abnormally large chest. (Think Popeye, after the spinach) Anyway, he got hold of my phone number and spends his non gym time texting me. I'll admit the first few cheeky texts were quite funny, but now he is convinced that I like him, and no matter how much I try and tell him otherwise, and don't respond, he doesn't get the message. He is convinced that I like him but I just don't want him to know. Not only that he can't understand why I would not find his masses of muscle attractive. Apparently he knows he 'looks good.' Hmm. Delusional springs to mind...
This isn't too much of a problem yet because I still find it pretty funny, but the slightly surreal thing is that he doesn't talk to me at work. He spends his evenings texting me telling me I can stay over his if I don't want to do the long drive in the morning, or spinning some cheesy line, yet at work he avoids me and gets really embarrassed. Which is kind of weird.
Is this typical male behaviour for someone in his twenties? I mean it would make sense if we were 12 or something, well, maybe without the sexual undertones to the texts, cos that would just be wrong. I just don't understand.
Anyway, I'm off to a tea party, which may sound like I am 12, but I can't wait.
Anyway, there is this guy from another team in the office, who I have spoken to once or twice and seems ok, apart from being a weight lifting fanatic with a penchant for steroids and a head that now looks too small for his abnormally large chest. (Think Popeye, after the spinach) Anyway, he got hold of my phone number and spends his non gym time texting me. I'll admit the first few cheeky texts were quite funny, but now he is convinced that I like him, and no matter how much I try and tell him otherwise, and don't respond, he doesn't get the message. He is convinced that I like him but I just don't want him to know. Not only that he can't understand why I would not find his masses of muscle attractive. Apparently he knows he 'looks good.' Hmm. Delusional springs to mind...
This isn't too much of a problem yet because I still find it pretty funny, but the slightly surreal thing is that he doesn't talk to me at work. He spends his evenings texting me telling me I can stay over his if I don't want to do the long drive in the morning, or spinning some cheesy line, yet at work he avoids me and gets really embarrassed. Which is kind of weird.
Is this typical male behaviour for someone in his twenties? I mean it would make sense if we were 12 or something, well, maybe without the sexual undertones to the texts, cos that would just be wrong. I just don't understand.
Anyway, I'm off to a tea party, which may sound like I am 12, but I can't wait.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Beyond Words
Today I have surpassed myself in laziness. After waking up with a slight hangover at nine, I had breakfast and then thought I'd go watch TV curled up in bed for a while, until my head felt a little better. Four hours later I wake up, yep 1pm. At this point I start to feel ashamed for wasting the day, but then realise its raining and convince myself it is pointless to get up when the weather is crappy. So I decide to watch more TV. Two hours later I wake up. Yep. I got up at 3 pm today. Not only that, I showered, and then crashed oput of the sofa until 7pm. I haven't even put makeup on, or done my hair, which has kind of dried into a big, frizzy mess that I am now afraid to brush. I plan to leave it till tomorrow and then wash it, and start again. I'll just avoid mirrors until then. It is really worrying just how awful I look without makeup.
Well, back to the confines of the sofa, and lets hope there is something on tv. Might as well finish the day as I started it.
Tomorrow I have big plans of leaving the house so I better get my energy up!
Well, back to the confines of the sofa, and lets hope there is something on tv. Might as well finish the day as I started it.
Tomorrow I have big plans of leaving the house so I better get my energy up!
Proud to be English?
This week marked a tragedy for democracy. Not only did a party gain power with only 36% of the country voting for them, but that party was labour. So now we have another four years of rising taxes, a complete disregard for the wishes of the English population and that smarmy smile. What is the country coming to when the primeminister is elected solely by Sun readers, and thats only because they can't think for themselves. And lets face it, these people probably shouldn't be allowed a vote anyway.
So what can we expect in the next few years? Lets hope that now Labour has lost seats that the rest of the government will be able to have some kind of control over Blairs foreign policy. Maybe now he will be more cautious about entering into military operations without the support of Parliament and the population. Maybe now the alliance between Bush and Blair will also weaken. Maybe we will now have a government controlled by Britain rather than a trigger happy, overgrown American monkey man and his puppet.
If Labour had to win them I am at least glad that is is with such a small proportion, and maybe the results of the next election will actually represent what the country wants.
So what can we expect in the next few years? Lets hope that now Labour has lost seats that the rest of the government will be able to have some kind of control over Blairs foreign policy. Maybe now he will be more cautious about entering into military operations without the support of Parliament and the population. Maybe now the alliance between Bush and Blair will also weaken. Maybe we will now have a government controlled by Britain rather than a trigger happy, overgrown American monkey man and his puppet.
If Labour had to win them I am at least glad that is is with such a small proportion, and maybe the results of the next election will actually represent what the country wants.
Monday, May 02, 2005
whiny
Looking back over the last few blogs I realise that I have become too whiny. I think I am feeling sorry for myself, my lack of decent men, job satisfaction, etc all beginning to make me sound, well loserish. So I make this pledge. I will now aim to be more positive. I may only be making this pledge as I am currently in a good mood, (having made out with an almost midget last night - previous post) so be prepared.
Almost midget
Yesterday as a belated birthday treat, me and Nic went to Newmarket races and then out last night partying with all the wee little people who live in Newmarket. (otherwise known as jockeys). Anyway, racing was good, although slightly marred by me wearing completely inappropriate shoes, and in an act of stupidity, not packing any others, but we had a good time. Highlight of the day was definately Frankie Detorri smiling at me a Nic. Although, rather than looking cool and casual and smiling back we both presumed he was smiling at someone behind us and did a sychonised turn to see who it was. Nope, it was us, and yeah, we looked pretty stupid, and possibly rude as it looked like we both turnmed our backs on him.
Anyway, highlight of the evening. Kate will be jealous. Really jealous. (like to big build up?) I hooked up with a jockey!! yep, a real life almost midget, but without the out of proportion head and stuff! Its like achieving a life ambition! It was the weirdest thing. He was so short. And I kind of had an urge to pat his head like he was a dog or child or something. I did have to concentrate to stop myself talking to him like a little kid though. Although at one point I did say 'you've got a lot of energy for such a little person.' Taken out of context like that it sounds a little dirty, however I was talking about his height and his dancing. Nothing else.
Anyway. I really feel like I achieved something, although is a slightly whoreish way.
Anyway, highlight of the evening. Kate will be jealous. Really jealous. (like to big build up?) I hooked up with a jockey!! yep, a real life almost midget, but without the out of proportion head and stuff! Its like achieving a life ambition! It was the weirdest thing. He was so short. And I kind of had an urge to pat his head like he was a dog or child or something. I did have to concentrate to stop myself talking to him like a little kid though. Although at one point I did say 'you've got a lot of energy for such a little person.' Taken out of context like that it sounds a little dirty, however I was talking about his height and his dancing. Nothing else.
Anyway. I really feel like I achieved something, although is a slightly whoreish way.
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