Early

The next two days will be spent in London on a course with one of the guys I work with. I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Yes, I have to leave the house at 5 am. What the hell is that about? How is that for devotion to your job! What brainiac decided to hold a course at 9am in the morning when everyone is travelling from about 3 hours away. Fuckers. I guess it will earn me brownie points with my boss when I subtely go for the sympathy...Maybe I'll get a raise...maybe I can dream on. Oh yeah, they are giving us a 'lunch allowance.' Yes, £3.00. You can maybe buy a coffee with that. That is all. And I don't drink even drink coffee. Damn them.
Another stroke of genius is that they insist on buying two return train tickets rather than put you up in a hotel for the night to make it easier. And the hotel would be cheaper. How's that for logic. They would prefer us to get up before the sun, drive hours, get the train for an hour, struggle on the underground in rush hour, and then be too exhausted to concentrate on all the important stuff you are supposed to be learning. The struggle with rush hour again, sit on a train for a few hours, then have an hour and a half drive back home. The do it all again the next day!Great. So I have decided to sell the return tickets and make some money, and then stay in Hertford, about half and hour away. Haha. My pathetic attempt at revenge.
Hopefully a chance to have a drinky or two afterwards, I think I'll need it by then, as long as I can find my train and make my way back to Hertford that night.

Something for the Weekend

Here's something that has cheered me up. I thought I should share it.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050221/80/fcwii.html

HAHA

Slacker

Ok, I apologise for not writing much this week. I've been really busy, but yes, i know thats no excuse and i'm not showing 'dedication' to the cause. Although, I don't exactly know what the cause is..
Anyway, the first week at work has gone well. And now for the next 6 weeks I am booked in for studying for my IMC, Investment Management Certificate. When I get that I will be very important and clever. Hopefully.
Everyone seems really nice and there is PLENTY of eye candy to keep my from getting bored. Excellent.
As soon as I finish this I have to go and move house. Argh! I hate moving. HATE! moving is DANGEROUS too, I fell down the stairs carrying boxes yesterday and now have a HUGE bruise on my bum, making it very hard to sit down! You might laugh, but I hope it happens to you one day. Yes I do.
I am moving back home for a little while, it feels like a step backwards, but until I find place in Peterborough I will be there. Somehow I have to fit my entire apartment's furniture into my bedroom at home....hmmm..
I will really miss my apartment, so I apologise if I am in a shitty mood for the next couple of days/weeks/months.

First Day At Work

With trepidation and feeling like a kid on their first day of school, I started my new job as a 'Client Relationship Manager/Porfolio Manager' at Barclays Stockbroking.
The day didn't start well. When I woke up this morning and looked out the window I was astounded by the fact that it had been snowing! A lot! And I had a hour and a half car drive ahead of me! Normally I love the snow, but when I am trying to get to my first day of work, it's not so much fun. But I made it there just in time, after a few close misses with trees at the side of the road when the car started sliding on the ice.
I was a bit overwhelmed by the size of the place and the number of people working there. It seemed like a maze wondering around all the corridors on the tour, and people staring at the 'new kids.' But they did seem nice, and when I got chatting I found out most of them were temps anyway, so they hadn't been there long. It wasn't the most exciting of days, we had all the training, watched a million health and safety/ training videos, all made in the seventies or eighties, so you can imagine the fun! We did get to play a game at the end and win sweets which livened things up a bit!
So, the outcome today... A bit boring doing all the training, but I got chocolate at the end. So I'd say it went pretty well.

Dirty Den and his not so loving wife 

Goodbye Den

I'll apologise now for those who don't watch Eastenders, and for those who frankly don't give a damn. You might want to skip this blog.
Last night saw the dramatic ending to Dirty Den's life in the square, again. How many times can this man die? First he was shot by the daffodils by the canal, and disappeared for 14 years. Then he came back, apparently having faked his first death. Then he was hit over the head by Zoe with a dog shaped door stop, and we all thought he was dead. Then miraculously he came alive AGAIN, before being hit over the head for the final time by his wife, once again with the door stop, and Dirty Den was no more.
I don't think Eastenders will be the same without him and his 'allo princess.' I mean, ok, the actor was dirty and did that weird finger licking thing on that internet sex site, but still, he was a bit of an icon. And he was a ratings puller, even after his sex scandal stories hit the headlines.
They are supposed to be burying him under the Queen Vic, so I am guessing that there won't be a chance to fake his own death this time. Presumably there won't be any more mix ups. However, this being Eastenders and Soap world, there is always the chance that he could once again rise from the dead. I mean, he has done this twice now, what's stopping him the third time.
Fingers crossed.
Rest in peace Dirty Den, Rest in Peace.

Sexy Losure 

Losure

Some time ago I promised Losure that if I ever started doing one of these I would dedicate a page to him. So, due to the fact that he would sulk otherwise, and also cos he called me the other week through his computer, which is kinda cool, I have decided to honour this promise. Losure is unlike most other people. Think Ross in Friends awkwardness and then multiplied by 1 million. Especially when he is talking to you on the phone. Then you get these long long pauses, when you aren't sure if you should say something or whether he is going to carry on. A typical Losure phone conversation may go like this.
Ring ring
Me: Hello?
Losure: Hello
Pause
Me: Hi, what's up?
Losure: Not much.
Long pause

So you get the idea, the whole conversation goes like this, and you feel like screaming at him 'Why did you call me!? You have nothing to say!'
Anyway, it is because of things like this that we love Losure, cos he can't help being awkward.
We also love him because: He likes to cook things and try out recipes for you. He likes playing kids games. He let me take over his room once when they had the Nintendo and Mario and I was addicted. He sends me drunken emails. He hates America. He is incredibly clumsy. He likes TMNT.
We hate Losure because: He tries to mimic my English accents and he sucks big time!! He insists that you call Teenage Mutant Turtles 'TMNT.' And he get weird and insulted when I call him Loser, which isn't an insult, it's just his name.

Anyway, Losure, this is for you!

Animals

I would just like to draw your attention to this website : http://animalreviews.zelica.net/reviews.htm
I was thinking about saying who has this much time on their hands, but then again, I write this every couple of days, so the same could be said for me. Anyway, this is a hillarious site, they review animals, and I particularly like the rabbit one. However, I don't entirely agree with the review of the cat, which in my opinion is the Satan of the animal world. - blame Rachel and her evil, evil cat who has made me hate our 'feline friends' with an unrivalled intensity. This cat, 'Minty' has tormented me since childhood. She tries to claw me at any given opportunity, and now she's getting on a bit, and doesn't have the energy to jump on me and attack, she has taken to following me around staring, all the time staring... I arrive at the house, she's waiting outside. I leave the house, she is waiting outside. Watching me. I HATE CATS. Anyway, now I've got that out of my system, check out this site.

Work

Only 5 days until I start my new job! I don't know whether I am happy, or nervous or scared. But there seems to be an abundance of butterflies in my stomach! This hasn't been helped by the fact that they have managed to screw up my start date and my contract got lost in the post...according to an answer phone message I was due to start yesterday. Anyway, they realised their mistakes, and a very nice sounding guy on the other end of the phone has told me that starting on 21st is 'cool.' He sounds a bit like Aled from the Chris Moyles show. I had to fight the urges to tell him that, possibly not the best way to impress my new boss.
Anyway, I am still looking for somewhere to rent/buy, depending on how long it would take to sort out buying. Obviously I don't want to commute for too long, but at the same time I don't want to rent and waste all that money each month and have nothing to show at the end of it. BTW, why are mortgages sooo confusing?? Do I want fixed, variable, offset, tracker, endowement, repayment, equity release..the list is endless. All I want is for someone to give me enough money to buy a flat, and not screw me over with repayments and interest. Is that too much to ask!
Anyway, back to the search.

Rar!!

Thanks to all you people who rushed to send me a Valentine's e card after I shamelessly asked in my last blog. Wait, you didn't. Thanks. But to everyone who sent me emails, thanking me for their cards, yet STILL not sending me one. Thanks. No, I really mean it...

Valentines

I woke up this morning and went downstairs. I couldn't open my front door for the piles of cards, presents and flowers there to greet me....wait...scrap that...actually I haven't had any! Apart from a card meant for an ex from Stacy, thanks hun... I haven't had anything. Boo. The radios are filled with love songs and people proposing on air, the TV is all about the looove, you'd think it would be enough to drive a single person CRAZY! Well, you know what, i'm not that bothered. You'd think I would be, this is my first Valentine's day as a single gal in years, and I thought i'd be feeling kinda miserable by now, but so far I have managed to escape the Valentines blues. HOWEVER. That does not mean that I would not like any cards. So if anyone would like to send me a Valentine's e card or something, or for those friends who havent got round to sending one yet, I would be very grateful. You have until midnight tonight, so I'm waiting....

Strippers

Last night I saw my first ever stripper doin' her thang. In a restaurant, while we were eating, and all I could think about was how unhygenic it was! I went for a meal last night with a friend of mine and his work friends, for his birthday. We went to our local Indian, fab food. There were only the two tables, us and a group of about 10 men. All of a sudden the music gets turned on, and this biggish black woman comes in, and starts dancing for one of the men. Possibly not the best night to do it, seeing as 50% of the restaurant was either female, or gay. But anyway, it was kinda memerising to watch. Especially when she put her nipples in the guys eyes. Ah, breasts, the things you can do with them...Anyway, i digress. After finishing the dance, it seemed like a funny idea to tell her that it was Leon's birthday. So he had his first, and probably only, female stripper. Bless. His face was a picture. Especially when he had to kiss her bum. But he was a lot better behaved than the other guy, who despite getting married today, was not adverse to a bit of frantic groping. Which, if I hadn't been put off my food already by her saggy breasts, would have done the job. However, I might laugh at her, but the sad fact is that she is probably earning more in 10 minutes than I do in a week.
Happy Birthday Leon.

RIP

I am traumatised. I was playing SIMS last night, my new addiction, and my little man caught fire and died. Yes, he DIED IN A FIRE. He rolled around on the ground in flames and then died! I thought this was a game for kids!! Kind of disturbing until I get a reality check and realise, yes, it is only a game. Rest in peace my little SIM man.

Kittens and puppys

Woohoo! My Catz & Dogz are falling in love and having kitten and puppys! It is sooo worrying about how addictive these computer games are. I wasted so much time last night when I could of been doing much more worthwhile things, like, having a LIFE, sitting in front of my computer trying to make cartoon catz and dogz fall in love. How sad am I?!!

Chinese new year

Last night we went out to our new Chinese restaurant, 'Silk Road 2', next to the petrol station, the dump and the main road. I am amazed at how well this business is doing considering the positioning. And the fact that it's name sucks. big time. A nice restaurant doesn't usually have 2 after it's name. We all know sequels usually suck, apart from Harry Potter ones, so who would want to go to a restaurant thats not quite as good as the original. Anyhoo, I gave it a try. A big table of us from work booked in for Chinese New Year. Excellent night, and great fun to take pics of everyone else wasted for once! I would like to dedicate this blog to Carl who probably caused the most laughs all night with his drunken antics. (not bad for an old man)

Dancing Queen 

Chinese Chris 

Chinese New Year 

A drunken mess 

Hmmm

My computer finally came back from the repair man yesterday! Its been gone a month and I was getting withdrawal symptoms! I have all this new stuff I wanted to install, like my digital camera programs, and well, yes, some games. I'm addicted to the Catz and Dogz games from about 10 years ago. I used to play them at Rachel's when we were kids and I went out and bought them the other week. I am so excited. So last night I 'adopted' all these dogs and cats. And today I am sitting at work, looking forward to going home and playing with them. I think I peaked maturity wise at about 16 and now I'm going backwards. I even called Rachel up today and asked her round 'to play on the computer.' And the sad thing is she is as excited as me. We're 23 for Christ sake!!

FAILURE

OK, so I failed miserably at not drinking this weekend, and it pains me to say this, cos I never like to be wrong. After pledging to do the sensible thing and stay in and get things done, I went out Friday night, although in my defense I was planning to come home early and not drink too much. However. I wake up Sat morning, I am at home, I am in bed, I am fully dressed and I have an empty bottle of wine next to me. And I have NO idea how I got there. And I had possibly the worst hangover in the world. It wasn't a pretty sight. It took me until 4pm to acctually get up and even then that was only cos I had to babysit at 5.30. I still don't feel great today. So I think there is a moral to this story. Don't plan not to drink because you will fail miserably. Just go out and get wasted and chances are you will still come home and be in a better state than if you have planned not to drink.

drunk & disorderly

so this weekend I am not going to drink. I am going to stay in doing laundry or watching movies on Friday night and I have volunteered to babysit on saturday. yes, you read right. I am going to wake up on sunday morning and remember my weekend. Ok, so there won't be much to forget, but at least I'll feel like I have accomplished something. I'll be able wake up without a pounding headache or hairy tongue and a mouth tasting of stale wine or vodka. I haven't really stopped the partying since Christmas, I had birthdays to celebrate and weekends, and well to admit it, weekdays, anydays, and I have woken up too many times in this last few months with that sinking feeling in my stomach as I remember the drunken dancing, singing, and....
Why does all self control go out the window after a drink or two? Why do ugly men appear attractive? Why do you never remember how you got those bruises, but you bet it wasnt whilst looking cool and sophistocated. I was at a party in Bristol last week, sauntering across the dance floor talking to a really fit guy and then.... I fell over. Yes, right in front of EVERYBODY i skidded across the dance floor, taking out some random girl with me. In my defence I would like to point out that I wasnt THAT wasted and that the floor was covered in a spilt drink and another girl had fallen over in the same spot 15 mins earlier. however had I been entirely sober, maybe it would have been avoided.
So due to all these reasons, this weekend will be a sober one for me. Support me if you will!

Ok, so you CAN actually defend yourself against intruders, as long as you follow these government guidelines, shown by the cute little cartoon characters...  

Blog Virgin

Ok, so this is my first EVER blog! Yes, I am a blog virgin...well thats good to know.
Not only that, I am on the countdown to leaving my thankless job as hotel advertiser, manager, administrator, slave, and general skivvy. Yes thats right, sombody finally employed me, apart from my parents, who probably felt sorry for me... anyway....
No longer will I have people snapping their fingers at me when they want serving, no longer will I have people talking down to me. Yes I may be working for a pittance, and running round making sure your every need is satisfied, but damn it, I am university educated and probably a hell of a lot smarter than you!! Rar!!
So in 2 weeks and 6 days I start my job as a portfolio manager for a stockbroking company. yes, it does sound important, although I still don't quite know what it entails. Or whether I will actually be able to do it, but as long as they don't figure that out I'm ok. Plus it involves an hour and a half commute every morning, so I will have to move, which will be kinda fun! I will be escaping from the sticks and moving to a city with bright lights and shops that dont shut at 4pm! I will be able to walk into a bar and not have slept with 95% of the clientel! Not that I'm a slut, but I live in a very very small town. Honest.
2 weeks and 6 days!