My Christmas In Pictures.

I seem to have lost the abilty to string a sentence together so I'm going for the 'artistic' look for this blog.


And yes, that is my sixteen year old brother in the Ann Summers fireman stripper outfit... so proud...

It's less that 1 month til my birthday

As much as I want to think the next Harry Potter book will have a happy ending, I have a feeling i'm going to be sad. The title, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, doesn't give the impression that I'll be filled with joy by the end. I'm still grieving for Dumbledore, I don't know how i'll cope with anymore deaths!

I'm going to see Jack and the Beanstalk tomorrow with the Beavers. I can't wait. It's behind you! Ah classic.

Today was my last day at work for 6 days. It hasnt kicked in yet. I'm still have that panicy mood everytime I think about work, but I think tomorrow when I get a lie in I'll feel a lot better.

Merry Christmas.

I like a beer buzz early in the morning

I would like to announce that it is my birthday 1 month tomorrow. And this time its not my half birthday, but my REAL birthday. I just wanted to let you know so you don't leave buying my present until the last minute. I may put a wish list on Amazon - just in case you want ideas...

I'm not a fan of the work/life ratio at the moment, or more so the work/sleep ratio. It's all wrong. I need to sleep a good 10 hours a night to function, but the current 5 hours a night is slowly and painfully killing me. I'm not a nice person to be around right now. But on a better note, it's 6 days until Christmas. Which means too much food, too much wine, and presents. My idea of heaven.

I Like Lists

Reasons why I haven't posted in ages...

1. Work. I now have 3 jobs and I don't have time to sleep let alone live.
2. Christmas parties!
3. Christmas shopping.
4. It's too cold, which means I hibernate. I really don't like people when it's cold.
5. I have the longest ever lasting cold and sore throat, which means I'm miserable, and I make other people miserable witjh my moaning!

Reason why I'm writing now...
I'm watching Most Haunted with Girls Aloud, and I'm scared. Shhh. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be me.

I'm Alive

Ok, so I am alive, just really busy.

Today is the first day of Christmas, which means that I can now officially start celebrating. Although I've had the Christmas cards written for two weeks now, I started my shopping in August, and I've been secretly playing a Christmas CD in my car for the last week. Although I was found out the other day.

I can't believe that right after I discover Laguna Beach on some obscure channel on TV, they replace it with Dawsons Creek! And after watching one episode of Dawsons, I couldn't quite remember why I was so addicted to it as a teenager. Too much analyzing of relationships in one episode made my head hurt. I miss Laguna, at least these kids aren't pretending to be deep and meaningful, they're shallow and rich and that's why we love it!

Back to the TV viewing.

Fighting Midgets

I've not really written much in the last few weeks. It's been so busy with stuff that I haven't had time to. Plus its winter, and I hibernate in winter with my hot water bottle. So people don't tend to see me or hear from me. I wish winter was just a constant duvet day. Apart from December and January, (Christmas and my birthday).

Anyway, this video is hilarious. - thanks Ben. There's just nothing funnier than midgets, especially fightingmidgets.

I get to work tomorrow, which I don't like. In Swindon, which really doesn't fill me with joy. I got a promotion which makes it a bit more bearable as I'm getting paid more for it, but its still a Saturday working and that's just wrong.

My second DVD player in 2 weeks has died. After returning the first one I thought that would be the end of the problem. turns out not so much. So I get to go back to Tesco and face the rude lady on the returns desk. Fun!

I need sleep now.

Funny cos its true.

Harsh, but I just can't feel sorry for him.

This weeks favourites

I love a drunken animal story. elk

Almost as much as I love this blog. Please don't judge me.

Suffering from chocolate withdrawal

I have to go back to work tomorrow after my little 'accident.' For those of you not in the know, I managed to fall down the stairs the other day which resulted in 3 days of lying flat on the floor while my back muscles recovered and stopped spasming out. Anyway, that was fun. I was planning not to tell too many people about it, as it is a story that will only go to highlight just how clumsy I am, but it seems everybody at work knew about it five minutes after I called in sick. So that didn't really work out.

Anyway, Halloween was good, but I ate way too many cupcakes and candy. So now the diet starts again.

This weekend was my favourite weekend of the year. Yes, that's right, Guy Fawkes Night. There's nothing better than burning a man on a fire and then celebrating with fireworks. It was amazing. Pictures later

Today's been productive. I have to do more now.

Lazy days

I had the day off today, which was lovely. I had the intention of painting the bathroom but I managed to talk myself out of it, various flimsy excuses, but it all really boils down to laziness and an unexplained aversion to painting, which is strange because I've never actually attempted it before, and it looks like fun.

But, I did do some Christmas shopping and cleaning, and laundry. I also managed to put time aside to re-introduce myself to the world of SIMS. Ah, heaven. That game kind of makes me realise what God would feel like. I like that job.

My Favourite Time of Year. Official.

I just read this story on Peachy's blog. It's probably in my top 5 new stories of the year.

I've been meaning to blog but I just haven't had time, read, been bothered. I went to the cinema yesterday which made a nice change. I saw the Devil Wears Prada which was a pretty good film.

I've been getting excited about Christmas already, which will probably mean I will be sick of it by December 1st. I'm planning to spread the cost of Christmas over a few months, but no doubt I'll still end up spending too much. I kind of want to start decorating and wrapping presents and listening to Christmas songs now but I'll resist. I'll just have to get excited about Halloween. I've got a big pumpkin to carve. And then after Halloween its my FAVOURITE ever holiday, Guy Fawkes Night. I can't wait. This is definately my favourite time of year. It makes me want to sit in front of a big roaring fire, in a cosy pub. Ahh.

Cravings are driving me CRAZY

I need chocolate. Bad. I've been trying to think about other things for the past two hours and it's just getting worse. But if I want chocolate that means a trip to the corner shop. And I'm half in my new pink polka dot PJs, which means changing. What a dilemma.

I had every intention of taking the new housemate out tonight, but it didn't happen. I was tired, she was tired. I feel like an old lady, I just wanted to stay in and read my book, and do laundry. What happened to me? I used to be fun.

Congratulations Amanda!

Amanda had her baby yesterday, a little girl called Katie Elizabeth Frost. I'm so jealous that I haven't seen her yet but maybe at the weekend if Amanda isn't too tired. How weird is it that one day you're just pregnant, and then the next you have this little baby to take home. It's so scary! But nice too.

Anyway, I'll update you on how cute the baby is soon.

I have a life again!

I keep meaning to post on here but I have had such a busy week that i just haven't had time. But, it's all good. I have a new lodger, who is really nice. So I've spent the week trying to get the house sorted out. I now have heating in part of the house, which is amazing. And tomorrow I get some new radiators so I have heating in the rest of the house, especially in my bedroom, which is making me so happy.
My kitchen is being finished in a few weeks. Which means a year after moving in my house almost everything will be finished, and I'm so excited.

Delphine and I went to dinner tonight and I had a really lovely roast dinner and I'm so full. But it's was a really nice time. I think I need to sleep now though. I can't believe it's Monday tomorrow. And that means work. Where did the weekend go? Urgh.

I'm Having Issues.

The egg cooking question has been answered. I was assured by a work colleague that boiling an egg in a microwave was completely safe and possible as long as you put some holes in the end of it. So I did. And this was the result...

















I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and the kitchen still smells of egg. Urgh. The microwave door actually blew open in the explosion. It was messy.

I don't recommend doing this.

Cooking question

One day back in the office and I think I want to hurt someone. 'Management' - note the term is dripping with sarcasm - have decided that although we are completely understaffed and working at full capacity/breaking point, just for fun lets up the targets and actually push them over the edge, just for fun, to see what happens. In return for this they have set up a bingo system thing where you can win prizes for hitting these new targets. Prizes such as plastic pink passport covers, and luggage tags. Just what you want. I'm predicting some kind of office massacre by the end of the week.

I had the most productive night last night which means that today I am slobbing around doing nothing. All my productiveness has been used up. But yesterday I did mow the lawn, laundry, cleaning, hoovering, and then took the bed apart in the spare room and moved it in to mine and vice versa. It turns out my old bed was actually the most comfortable of the two, but I really can't move it back again.

Does anyone know if you can microwave an egg to make a boiled egg?

Green Jelly

I had green jelly tonight which was fun. I've come to the conclusion that jelly is the 'funnest' food to eat. I think I need to make the effort to eat it more often.

Electrical things and me aren't getting on well tonight. NTL tv has been broken for the last hour, which makes me angry. So I decided to do something productive and get on with the family tree thing I've been meaning to do for the last two years. I was all ready and but the site wouldn't work. Rah!!

I give up.

The battle of the spiders is still continuing. They are getting bigger and faster and I'm beginning to think its some kind of conspiracy, the spiders are out to torment me.

New manager no. 8 (or is it 9? I forget) since December, has turned out to be annoyingly annoying. I have taken to ignoring her at all times because its the only way to get through a day with her. She especially got my back up when she asked me how old my child was. It tends to be a good thing to get to know your employees, rather than randomly creating children. She then asked me how many days a week I worked. Really on the ball this one...But she gave me a bottle of wine today, I'm not really sure why. But it's kind of made up for the child thing.

This weekend was uneventful, apart from Saturday night. I went to the Cellar Bar. It's somewhere I would never normally even dream of going, it's this dingy cellar full of druggies snorting coke off the back of toilets, so not the nicest place. But I got dragged there and the highlight was some boy projectile vomiting over everyone. It was funny because it wasn't on me. It was also funny seeing people standing in it all night not realising.

Ah, how is it only Monday?

Spiders 0 Charlotte 5

I never really understood the phrase ' at the end of my tether' until today, when the last few weeks kind of caught up on me and I ended up spending the evening curled up in the fetal position on the sofa. I watched Chicken Little, in the hope of distracting myself from life, but it just didn't work. I did realise that one of our Beaver Scouts looks like Chicken Little though. Unfortunate.

I'm waging war against the spiders at the moment. I've had to battle 5 BIG spiders at my house so far. They were scary and big and fast. But it's not as bad as last weekend when the daddy long legs descended on Norfolk. I've never seen so many in my life. I walked out of my bedroom in the morning and they were all lying dead outside my room. I'm ashamed to admit I actually freaked out at them. I may have had a little 'Nikki' style tantrum.

Apparently they are auditioning for Hobbits for the Lord of the Rings musical. My brother thinks I should apply. He's so kind.

By the way, I wouldn't recommend Chicken Little to anyone. At what point do we grow out of cartoon films? I just hope I never feel this way about the Simpsons. Because then my life would be over.

The baby shower for Amanda went well, but I haven't loaded pictures on to the the computer yet so I'll post them soon.

5 year friendship anniversary

It's crazy that 5 years ago today was September 11th. It's also crazy that its 5 years ago that I was at Union. It really doesn't seem that long ago.

On a brighter note it means that I've known these 'people' for 5 years.

White Man Dancing

I want to dance like this...

Fun, with a capital F

Bad thing happened today. I got up this morning, spent all day at work, under the bright, flourescent lights of our office, and at about 3pm today I realised that the top I wore this morning was see through. Yeah, not good. It did explain some of the stares.

I'm in the middle of watching Shop Girl, which so far isn't really living up to the book, but that's not to say it's bad, the book was just really good. I'm alternating watching with ironing. Fun.

There's a funny smell in my house that I just can't work out. It bothers me.

Thank God the weekend is nearly here.

New Crush

I think I need to find myself a new celebrity crush. After Grant Mitchell left Eastenders (I know, strange but true), I haven't found a replacement. So I have two choices, first, I can hope that Grant is coming back, or secondly I can find a new crush. So, any suggestions?

I want to be this man

Freaking Out

The scariest thing just happened. I'm was sitting here minding my own business when out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving. It was possibly the hugest spider I have EVER seen. So after a few minutes of standing on a chair and screaming I decided to take matters into my own hands. I'm not proud of what happened next but lets just say it involved a rolled up newpaper, some violence and a hoover, but it's gone now.

I, however, may be traumatised for life.

Slightly Awkward Situation

A while ago I told my ex that he could crash at mine tonight as he was at a wedding in Peterborough. I kind of forgot, and presumed he wouldn't ever actually remember I said it until this week when he called to confirm. So, I wasn't looking forward to it but couldn't really get out of it. Anyway, at 10 tonight I got a call from his drunken mate asking if I could pick the ex up because he was so drunk, which kind of pissed me off. So I picked him up, he had managed to upset the bride and generally piss everyone off which was really nice of him. I got him back to mine, he was talking to his 'friend' the whole way which was a bit freaky. (I was the only other person in the car).
So he then drunkenly hit on me, was pissed off with me when I turned him down and then passed out. He's not my favourite person right now. I wanted a quiet night!

Anyway, I cleaned the house tonight and then mowed half the lawn, it took ages so I didn't manage to do it all. (by that I mean I got bored). I really can't believe how boring my weekends have become. It's a FRIDAY night!

Little man

I went on MySpace for about 2 minutes tonight and was bombarded by band friend requests. I hate that.

I left work early again tonight, and by early I mean by 5. Which means another productive evening. I no longer have a toilet in my garden!

haha. Little people are funny.

I bore myself sometimes.

I've just had a really busy evening. I went to the skip, cleaned the kitchen and then dug holes in my garden. I may have dug a few extra holes than needed because I kept changing my mind about where to plant things. And the holes are still there, for some reason I didn't bother to fill them in. So, note, do NOT walk in my garden when it's dark. It could turn out to be pretty dangerous!

I've got my mum's car at the moment, the monster, because my little baby is having its MOT. So it was really handy for taking things to the skip. For once the garden isn't full of bits of crap and old doors. Although the old toilet is still there, which looks real classy...But I did move it to the bottom of the garden so it's a little closer to going. I might visit the skip again tomorrow. But only after I cut the lawn. God, I'm boring. But productive.

I got a pre-order for 200 Christmas of my handmade cards yesterday which was good. Although it was from my Mum, but I don't think it was a pity buy. It'll keep me busy anyway, and earn a few pennies.

I really want to leave work early every day this week. I'm so sick of staying late every night. I left a 5 tonight and got so much done at home and still managed to fit in a good few hours of mandatory tv watching. I rock.

I'm a pole dancer!

Last night was the leaving party for two of my work colleagues, which involved a night out in Peterborough. It was possibly the first time I've seen most of these people smiling and laughing, they usually look pretty depressed at work. Anyway, the night was good fun, and kind of strange as we ran into another department from work in a bar. I think our whole office was out last night! Anyway, we went to a few bars and then the others all planned to go to a club playing hip hop and r&b. However, Hilary and I had other ideas, we really wanted cheesy 80s music, so we snuck off and ended up in Reflex. Unfortunately we ran into this other department from work who had the pleasure of seeing us pole dancing on the podium. I have to face these people on Monday...anyway, it was a laugh and despite how it sounds I wasn't too drunk and actually woke up feeling ok this morning. Result.

This time tomorrow I plan to be drunk

Stuart (little brother no. 2) got his GCSE results today and once again had to go one better than me! 4 As, 3 b's and 2 C's. Not bad little bro - Mum and Dad can finally be proud of their 'accident' child.

I had to call this client of mine today. Normally this wouldn't be a problem seeing as this is what i do all day at work, but this client just really frustrated me. I don't mind getting yelled at, if I at least get the chance to put my point across. But this freak just started ranting down the phone, asking question after question, and not letting me answer anything. I couldn't fit in more than 2 words for each question before she started on again. I actually made a audible esparated, irritated groan down the phone before I even realised I did it, luckily she didn't seem to hear but I'm praying that it's not a call that gets picked up on phone coaching...My God I'm glad its almost Friday, and even more glad that it's a long weekend.

You know when you watch too much tv when you recognise the bedroom in tonight's My Family to be that of Victor Meldrew's from One Foot In The Grave. Worst thing is that I don't even like these TV shows. I need to build up will power to switch off the TV, or at least change the channel...

East

Tonight I went to EAST, a oriental restaurant on the river. It's actually on a Dutch barge built in 1907 (interesting fact). The food was fantastic and the restaurant was lovely. The food was a combination of Japanese, Chinese, Thai and everything else. I'm not sure what other oriental countries there are..oh, vietnamese too.

Anyway, the most exciting part of the night was that I ate crispy seaweed and liked it! Bear in mind if you will that it was only in the last few years that I've ventured to eating vegetables. I was a little wary, given that Kate gave me some sushi once, with seaweed, and it made me want to vomit.But anyway, this was fantastic. No vomit at all.

Now I'm collapsed on the sofa, I'm so full. I think I need to lie down...

I want a life

This weekend was pretty much a write off for my social life, actually my life as a whole has become a write off recently. But anyway, the weekend started by getting home on Saturday morning and finding out that people had 'forgotten' to tell me that my Uncle had been rushed into hospital, so I spent Saturday there, leaving to go to work and then finally sleep. Sunday was spent working, and then the drive home to Peterborough. So not the best weekend.

I did get to go out for a late Sunday lunch at the Old Bank, the food was even more amazing than normal.

On a more cheerful note I'm hoping that this weekend might actually give me a day off, which will be amazing. I can't wait to sleep!!

Yay!!

Pete Won!! Meow!

BB

If Aisleyne wins BB then I think my faithful friendship with television will be permanantly ruined. Also my opinion of the British public might actually fall so much I might have to leave the country. Am I the only one who thinks she should be shot?! Harsh but fair.

I can't believe I'm spending my Friday night watching this....

Sleep is good...

I finally got home. It's been a long day and I've been awake for more hours than any person should be. I just want to sleep for days but as I don't have days off EVER anymore, thats not going to happen. I actually don't know when I'm having a day where I don't have to go to either of my jobs, which is just so disenheartening that I just want to curl up and die. Ok, not actually die, but you get my point. I've kind of still got this pissed off/weird mood thing going on from yesterday, so sorry for the moan.

On the upside, my Tesco Club Card vouchers arrived today, which means I can eat tomorrow! I don't think I've ever been so excited about food shopping. I've actually cleared out most of my freezer this week, trying to make meals from old, random food that I've chosen not to eat before for various reasons. It's kind of good though because the freezer needs de-frosting soon. I may have left the door open when I was away last weekend which means that its all icy now.

Time for sleep.

In desperate need of a long sleep (and a new job)

I've had so many good intentions of writing on here recently but I just haven't had the time and/or anything that exciting to write about.

I get to go to Cardiff on a coach tomorrow. There are a few things wrong with this statement. 1. I don't like coaches. 2. I don't like long journeys. 3. I don't like long coach journeys with work people, to do work things. 4. We have to leave at 7am. Urgh. I had every intention of getting clothes ironed/washed tonight so I can spend an extra twenty minutes in bed in the morning, but time seems to have slipped away tonight much to quickly!

I'm kind of in a bad mood, well not so much a bad mood, but just a bit of a mood. I really don't know why. I think I need sleep.

Angry German Kid - UK version

I'd like to thank Daniel for sending me the translated version of the angry retarded german kid. It's funnier when you know what he's actually saying. Retarded people are funny.
angrykid

Aw, Sexy Losure...

For some unknown reason my computer won't load pictures onto the internet. Which sucks. So it means that I have all the pictures of the weekend and London and I can't share them.
Anyway, we went to Jamie Oliver's restaurant which was fantastic, good food, good wine and good atmosphere. Unfortunately the good wine was a bit much for some people, and by some people, for once I don't mean me, but my father, uncle, and great uncle. All of whom I got stuck chaperoning around London. Yay for me.

I'm so jealous of Stacy and Kate, both of whom have had the pleasure of Losure for the last week or so. I want to be there!!! I miss drunken Losure. Although maybe not the breaking things. And here's a picture of Losure for everyone to enjoy.

So tired it hurts

I'm so tired and yet so wired at the same time that this probably is going to be yet another rambling, incoherent post. I apologise in advance.

Long story cut short, my great uncle was due to arrive back from Peru yesterday morning. He didn't. Sixteen hours later, after a few hours on the phone to the police, and an internation man hunt he was found. In New York. Anyway, we decided that as we didn't want to risk losing him again we would pick him up from the airport, so after 2 hours sleep we drove the three hours drive to Gatwick to collect him and back. And then went to work. It was crazy.

Anyway, now I need to try and sleep.

Whatever Happened to Eerie Indiana?

I had a battle with a can of beans tonight. I won. But I picked up a few war wounds. The can of beans came off worse. And the can opener ended up in the bin. Who needs can openers when there's knives, scissors and sheer man power? Although I wouldn't recommend trying it at home.

Anyway, I'm tired which might attribute to the rambling and general incoherent tone of this blog.

The cake was good by the way, amazing.

Yummy

I'm craving chocolate/sugar tonight so I decided to cook a chocolate cake. Although the Easy Ice from the tub was pretty amazing, I decided to save the rest to decorate the cake. It also gave me a perfect excuse to use the new oven, which has a light in it which is so cool. I can actually watch the cake cook. Not that I'm doing that, I'm not that boring... Anyway, the cake looks good, although for some reason I struggled to melt the chocolate. And by that I mean I decided to speed up the process and instead of melting it in a bowl of hot water, I nuked it in the microwave. Unfortunately my belief that the microwave can do anything was shattered...it went dry and crumbly, but I'm sure it will be ok.

Tasting time!!

Restless and Whiny

I'm in a Cheetos coma. The couch has actually moulded to the shape of my body. All my good intentions have just vanished, along with my will to live. TV has been awful but somehow I just can't turn it off. It's the last night of Top of the Pops tonight. Pretty awful viewing for a final show. Shakira as the last ever TOTP number one was tragic. Her voice hurts my head.

I did manage to clear out my shed, thanks to Richard coming round to help. All the old rolls of spidery carpets have gone to the skip. And we had a pub lunch, so I guess I've done more with my day than I thought. It's just these last 5 hours that have been worthless and couch bound. God, I need some exercise. I'm debating a walk, but there isn't really anywhere 'nice' or safe to walk around here.

No work tomorrow is good.

Everything is funny, as long as its happening to someone else..

Someone is trying to tell me I need to start either a. taking care of my car, or b. get rid of it. Driving home from work tonight a bit fell off when I went round the roundabout, just missing the car behind me. I was too mortified to stop so somewhere on the road is part of my wing mirror. It's pretty funny thinking about it now but it's left my car looking worse than ever. Maybe I'll wash it soon, its been about 8 months so I think it deserves it. Poor baby.

I'm the DIY Queen

After two days of swearing and tantrums I have finally managed to put the BBQ together. And doesn't it look good! God I'm great.

The debate at work today : 'Were the Chuckle Brothers actually brothers?' Answers ranged from father and son, to cousins. But I have the real answer, Yes, they are brothers. According to Wikipedia 'The Chuckle Brothers, Barry (born 24 December 1941) and Paul(born 18 October 1948), from Rotherham, are prominent figures in British children's television and comedy at large. They are brothers, and their real names are Paul and Barry Elliot.' So I win!

Relationship Revenge

Ah, so satifying. revenge

So close, and yet so far

Yahoo is down which is making me angry. I know I have mail sitting there waiting to be read and I just can't get to it. Damn server. It's possibly the most frustrating thing ever.

I made a long list of things I wanted to do today, and it's been hot, so I haven't achieved half of it. But I did order the final missing piece of my kitchen - the missing cupboard door. And I got to nap this afternoon which is something I've been missing for a while.

Too hot to think.

Woohoo!!

I found half price Alton Towers tickets today in my purse, to be used by 31st July, which means another trip! Yay! I love finding stuff like that. I like to think of my handbag as a Mary Poppins style bag with a never ending supply of stuff in it. However, I haven't managed to fit a lamp in it yet. So anyway, I ramble, we have a trip planned on the 31st. I managed to bribe a manager with cake to book me and Beavis day off! I'm hoping that there won't be too many people there. Hopefully they'll all be scared off by the accident there the other day.

Funny cos it's true...

I'm torn between my hatred of cats and my 'slight' obsession with freak shows. The obsession won out, because who wouldn't want to see a picture of a two headed cat! (Thanks Molly!)

It's too hot to write more, the computer adds a few degrees to the temperature of the room.

Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon

Today is so hot. Like Hot Mark. You might have left but you're not forgotten!

Last night was fantastic. I went to Pop Goes The 80s at the theatre. It was obviously low budget and playing to a half filled theatre, which didn't bode well to begin with. But it turned out to be a fantastic night, dancing in the aisles and singing along. The highlight of the night were the all singing, all dancing, midget 'special people' couple. No they weren't part of the show but they were probably more entertaining.

I have decided to postpone my half yearly birthday. It is now on Friday 28th July. BBQ. Fun. There may or may not be an oversized paddling pool involved, it all depends on whether the next door neighbour is out. If he is then I can use his outdoor tap. And he's not on a water meter. So he will never know..the perfect crime.

I'm on the verge of having to make a big decision regarding my television viewing. I'm on the verge of leaving Eastenders. I can't watch Sonia kiss anyone else with those undersize lips and that oversize chin. I just can't bear it anymore! STOP IT!

The answer to life's biggest mystery..

What is in Branston Pickle? This has been the question bothering me this week, which meant that it also became the 'team topic' at work. Yes, we are that dull. Anyway, tonight I discovered the answer. Some ingredients were expected, some were pretty strange. Anyway apparently it contains carrots, onions, rutabaga, cauliflower, marrow, gherkins, sugar, vinegar, dates, lemon juice and garlic. And suprisingly it tastes good. Next weeks question, what is Ratabaga?

Football fun.

This is fun. I spent hours playing this

The Most Impatient Kid EVER

As seen on Break.com

A pretty amazing lady!

My eighty seven and a half year old Nan has decided that she wants to do the Sport Relief Mile. She saw Blue Peter tonight and saw this little African girl having to suport her family and decided that she should do something. How amazing is that! So although she can't get to an actual sponsored mile event she is going to do it herself and send in the money to Sport Relief. So she is going to walk from her house to the hotel, and then if that isn't a full mile then she will walk around the garden a few times. So if anyone wants to sponsor her, let me know! It's for a good cause!

And the Winner Is...

Yes, We won the Carnival! Actually it was a double win, the hotel won the commerical category!

The day was good, although windy and a little rainy to begin with, which wasn't good for the crepe paper. But as you can see, we looked good!

I also won the prize for being the clumsiest/most accident prone/stupidest person of the day. First accident of the day, cutting my finger open while trying to hang up the Chinese lanterns, second accident, and the worst, I was pulling the string tight while Michaela tied it in a knot, at which point the string broke, and yes, I punched myself in the mouth, resulting in a split/fat lip which was fun. At least I was wearing a mask for the rest of the day. Accident number 3, dave, the dragon I spent hours building, turned on me, and fell on to me, scratching and bruising my arms. Carnivals are much more dangerous than they seem to be!

Oh My God.

Let me pose you a question. You were going to fit internet/digital tv and phone to a house.You turned up, did your job, and then what? Would you a. say goodbye, leave and move on to the next job, or b. (like the NTL guy who just left my house), leave, then sit outside and text the customer using the phrase ' if there is no man in your life would you be up for a one off bit of fun.'When she replied, saying NO, would you then call not only her mobile, but her land line, and then turn up at the door. Does this sound slightly inappropriate, if not a little scary? So now I'm sat inside with the doors locked and feeling more than a little freaked. Fun.

When I see you cry it makes me smile.

Today I have this sense of achievement, not because I got loads done at work, I was on a pretty major caffeine high for the majority of the afternoon, which meant I had a lower concentration level than yesterday afternoon, if that's possible, and I was unbelievably annoying. But because on the way home from work I made it all the way to the petrol station without running out of petrol. And I was running on fumes. It was impressive. I like to set myself the challenge of seein ghow far I can run the car when it hids the red empty mark. It makes my journeys so much more interesting.

Carnival soon, Sunday! It's the event of the summer, Be there.

National Kissing Day

Apparently today is National Kissing Day, so I hope you have all done your fair share to celebrate the day.

Interesting facts about kissing:

Kissing for 1 minute can burn off 26 calories.

Kissing can help alliviate headaches, rashes and skin blemishes.

The average person spends 336 hours kissing in a lifetime.

You learn something new every day!

Ah Britney, pure class....

Happy 4th July!

Grr, I already wrote this post, but then I got a phone call and for some reason it cut of the internet. Which makes me a little angry.

Anyway, Happy 4th July!! I don't know why I, as an English person, celebrate this day, but I guess that after spending so many years alternating between here and the other side of the pond, they eventually brainwashed me. Thanks Nic for the card!

It's also our pubs birthday today, so Happy Birthday to the Ancient Mariner!

In honour of this day I thought I'd create a little montage of all things American.

Carnival countdown, 5 days

The dragon I'm trying to build out of boxes isn't really going anywhere. In fact, the boxes are still sat in my lounge, apparently sitting looking at them doesn't seem to achieve anything...So tomorrow I really have every intention of doing something about it.

I tried for a few days to try and make my blog titles out of advertising slogans. It doesn't seem to have worked. I ran out of ideas after three days. Oh well.

Tomorrow is going to be the hottest day of the year, and yes, this may be the third time I've announced it so far this year, but I'm assured this time it's correct. I just can't be sitting in an office in this fantastic weather! I think someone should start a campaign to make hot days a national holiday. Which would be fantastic. Lying in the garden, not sat in front of a computer screen. Ahh.

Ok, time to veg out and watch TV.

Cute, just like me....

This is a pretty amazing picture. Thanks Kate

A mouse rides on the back of a frog in floodwaters in the northern Indian city Lucknow June 30, 2006. REUTERS/Pawan Kumar (INDIA)

You look as cheap as a 1 penny chew.

Right now I am hot, uncomfortable and wishing air conditioner units weren't so expensive. I would actually consider selling an organ for one of those, maybe not an important organ, but one of the ones where you have two and only really need one.

Alistair (little bro no.1) is going for his operation tomorrow which has put me into big sister worry overdrive, which is weird for me, seeing as we don't really have a close relationship. Not that we have a bad relationship, but we are just very different people. So that pretty puts him out of action for the rest of the summer, and back on crutches. Stacy, want to come over and be nursemaid?

My pool for the garden, and by pool, read oversize paddling pool, has arrived. But I've just realised that I don't have a hose to fill it up. Damn. The cocktails in the pool are going to have to wait for a week.

Two radio presenters just announced that they are going to 'have' to go and buy the Kooks albulm, based on their new song Valerie. Now, correct me if I am being stupid, but isn't Valerie the new Zutons song. For some reason that makes me angry. These people are paid to know these things. And paid more than me.

Oh, ice lolly time.

Excellent...

The last few days have passed in a tired/grumpy/sleep-deprived haze. And tomorrow I have the pleasure of getting up at 5.30 and driving all the way to Kent with the office version of Mr Burns. Ah joy!

The car has come home which is good, and it's no longer leaking petrol which is also good. At least I know I'm not going to blow up when I'm driving.

Now I need to sleep

Good things don't always come in small packages

I think I might ask this guy to do the entertainment for my bi-annual birthday.

Thanks Dan for the picture, although it's a little worrying that you have this picture on your computer...

My car doesn't 'put the fun back into driving..'

So I fill up my car with £40 of petrol, drive home, then realise that it's leaking petrol all over the road. Well, not all over the road, but in puddles under the car. And my precious petrol is slowly leaking away..all that money. So I'm kind of leaving the car outside the house until tomorrow to see if the problem will just go away, and if not then I have to go and find a garage that won't rip me off too much. So that'll be fun.. I just hope the car doesn't blow up overnight.

Anyone a mechanic?

Because you're worth it

I have achieved so much today. It's been one of the most productive days in a while. The garden is looking better, but still lots to do. I also bought a digging spade. I like that word. I like the way it runs of the tongue. digging spade. It sounds better when you say it in a Norfolk accent. On the downside, I have blisters on the palm of my hand from the lawnmower which isn't fun.

I also fitted the seat belt adjuster to my car seat belt, which turned out to be pretty useless. I was hoping it would stop it cutting into my neck, but no. I don't get it. There are so many people who are shorter than me, like midgets. They're shorter than me. How do they cope with seatbelts?

I'm off to use my diggin' spade.

I hate idiots

This story made me mad!!! crap
The local paper published this about our hotel. Eighteen rooms is hardly going to be a huge development! And as for taking over their local carpark, they seem to forget that it's our carpark, for hotel residents. And most of what she's saying is incorrect anyway. Oh my God, I hate people like that.

Anyway, rant over, today was productive sleep wise, and shopping wise and maybe a little house wise. But tomorrow I have to venture outside to the jungle formally known as my garden, and dig up things, which i hate doing. Anyone fancy coming over and helping me?? Please. There may be beer involved.

Crazy Wife Swop Lady

At last, Friday

Firstly thank you Stacy for the song. cubicle song. I might not have you singing You're Beautiful to me anymore, but at this is the next best thing, and so appropriate.

Secondly, tonight I have had a little sweat shop thing going on in my front room. Yes, carnival preperations are underway and I made hundreds of lanterns tonight. It's amazing what you can do with toilet rolls.

Thirdly, I am tired today, and pretty grumpy. But now I'm too tired to sleep. But its payday and the weekend. Which means lots of sleep tonight and shopping tomorrow! Which makes me feel warm and nice inside.

Random Quiz

I started to fill this out, realised it was boring, but then had done just a bit too much of it to give up. Sorry.

1. Do you still talk with the first person you kissed?
I haven't seen him in probably ten years!
2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Yes
3. Are you obsessed with someone?
It was Grant Mitchell for a while, but it changes daily.
4. What is the best thing about your job?
Leaving on a Friday night
5. Do you like more than one person right now?
Right now I don't like anybody, but I'm in a bad mood today.
7. Did you get any compliments today?
Yes, someone told me they hope I won't die over the weekend.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
Hopefully somewhere hot!
9. When was the last time you kissed someone?
Last week
10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Mostly girls but I tend to get on better with guys.
11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
YES!! I love IKEA.
13. If you could have one super power what would it be??
I like the way Sabrina the Teenage Witch can change her image by snapping here fingers. I think thats a pretty cool super power. That or flying or something.
14. Where have you lived most of your life?
Hunstanton, Norfolk
15. Why is the sky blue?
It reflects the sea.
16. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
Maybe with a steady job and nice house.
17. What's your favorite smell?
Coffee when you first open the jar. Or men's aftershave.
18. What is your least favorite sound?
Children's tantrums.
9. Are you moody?
Yes, when I'm tired. or hungry, or just not getting my own way...
20. Favorite movie of all time?
Mary Poppins
21. Have you ever done anything hurtful to a classmate?Yeah, probably.
22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yep
23. Have you ever played spin the bottle?
Yes
24. Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
No.
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
oh yes....
26. Have you ever gone camping?
Yeah, it was fantastic
27. Have you ever had a crush on your Sibling's friend?
Yeah...although I would like to point out it was one of Alistair's friends, not Stuarts .I don;t like them that young..
28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Yeah, but I was lost, and a littel scared.
29. Have you ever gone streaking?
No, probably the one thing I didn't do at Union was the Naked Nott Run.
30. Have you ever had a stalker?
Yes
31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
No
33. Have you ever gone to a party?
Yeah, who hasn't?
34. Have you ever been in love?
Yes
35. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend?
Yes, but I probably deserved it.
36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Yes
37. Have you ever been out of the UK?
Yes
38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?nope
39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
No
40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day?
Possibly, when I was travelling
41. Last song you listened to?
The Kooks, She moves in her own way
42. Are you a jealous person?
It's been known...
43. Have you ever spied on someone?
Yes
44. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?Um. maybe.
45. Who was the last person who called you?
My Mum
46. When was the last time you slept for 12 hours straight?
Hopefully tonight
47. Have you ever been cheated on by someone?
Yes.
48. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes, I stole a penny sweet when I was 4, but Mum made me go back and apologise.
49. Have you ever consumed egg nog?
No
50. If you could be anywhere right now where would you be?
Resting on a beach.

Discovering hidden talents

I have been sooo productive tonight, which is a good thing because I was pathetically lazy last night. I also realised that I might be something of a creative genius. I really think this dragon is pretty fantastic and I did it all by myself in one night!! My carnival float is going to win this year!!

Today was also my lucky day. I realized that I didn't have enough money to pay for parking today, and I was beginning to panic, but then I found a £1 in the bottom of my bag. I remember the days where finding a £10 in my bag was great, now I get as excited over a £1 coin, which is pretty sad.

I am now off to create another masterpiece. By the way, if anyone has a Chinese dress I could borrow for the Carnival that would be fantastic.

Bored

Extreme boredom is the mood of the night. It's not so much that I don't have anything to do but its more that I just can't be bothered. So it's really my own fault. I had intentions of returning phone calls tonight but it just seems like too much effort.

Note: Playing Shocking Roulette by yourself isn't as much fun as you'd think..

Half Yearly Birthday Announcement

I feel that I should be watching the football and getting into the spirit of things, but as much as I've tried, I just can't. I like the whole country coming together and the patriotic thing, but its just overkill at the moment. And those flags on the cars just look ridiculous and American, and lets face it, we're better than that...I admit to a certain sense of satisfaction when I see them lying on the floor after flying off a car. It's especially nice when I drive over them in my car.

Random sackings and 'reorganisation' is still going on at work which is always nice, and I thought it was prett appropriate that I found this news story. santa

I'm in a restless/unsettled mood tonight. I want to do something but I don't know what. I think I just have too much on my mind at the moment. And alcohol isn't appealing at the moment which is my usual calming method, so I don't know what to do. The DVD collection isn't doing anything for me either. Oh what to do.

I've been thinking about having a second birthday each year in the summer, so I get the chance to have a hot birthday. So I would like to make an announcement, my half yearly birthday will take place on the 20th July. I think this should be treated as if it was a proper birthday, so presents and maybe a cake would be acceptable.

I'm surrounded by liars, everywhere I turn..

I'm going through a bit of a job crisis tonight. I feel like I should have this great career and be earning loads of money, but I'm not. And at what point does a job turn into a career? I know that the mediocre job I have now is just a job. I know I don't want to be doing this forever. And then I think at this stage of my life I should be in the job I really want to be doing and working my way up. The real problem lies with the fact that I don't actually know what I want to do. Nothing really appeals to me. And I am on such a sugar high that none of this actually makes sense. It's just rambling drivel. Sorry.

Chocolate pudding from a can is so good but makes me feel so sick...

However, on the upside I've just bought a huge, and by huge I mean 8 foot diameter paddling pool/swimming pool for my garden, which is pretty awesome. Yes, it probably will be one of those things I end up shoving in the shed and never using, but I love the thought of it. Cocktails and sitting in a pool in the summer. Fantastic.

Grad school killed sexylosure.com

It's nearly time to go back to work. Urgh. Although I had a busy and fun week, it does seem like it flew past way too quickly.

Last night I went to Yorkshire to go to a party at my aunts house. It was fun although I was probably the youngest person there, (majority were over 60). My Aunt did the usual matchmaking thing with some work colleague of hers. He was nice, despite the goofy teeth and the stutter. But 'nice' isn't really what I look for, neither are his other assets. Try already in a relationship, or not looking for a relationship, or liar, take your pick. Basically a challenge. I don't make things easy for myself....But the party was fun, and there were 8 different dessert choices, which was amazing. I did try most of them.

I've just realised that I left all my trousers for work in Hunstanton, (I took them home to do laundry). Damn it. I'm going to look good at work this week.

The Perfect Job

I've just discovered the PERFECT, and I really mean the perfectest, job ever. Well, not so much discovered it, as I've done it beofre but didn't realise the full potential at the time. Anyway, my job today was running the carpark, which entails sitting in a little hut all day taking money for people to park by the beach. It really is such a gold mine, I was working out how much you could make in a year from running a carpark like that and it is a hell of a lot more than I make at work, and you wouldn't even have to work in the winter. And I got paid to sunbathe all day which was amazing. I need to buy a field near a beach.

The place to be

The time has come to make and distribute the posters for the event of the year. Yes, the Hunstanton Carnival is back. And I've just realised that there was a reason I didn't take the 'arty' route at school. I'm not quite the whizz with Microsoft Publisher that I hoped I might be. However, reality check, this is Hunstanton and most people here don't even own a computer, let alone know how to use one, so they will probably be impressed by my mediocre attempts. Anyway, for those who are on the edge of your seats with excitement, the date is 9th July. So be there or be square.. Or at least come along and see me dressed up in a costume... At this point I was going to put up pictures of my outfits in previous carnivals, but even I have to maintain some dignity.

Alton Towers

Alton Towers was amazing today. The weather was great most of the time, despite the rain. And the company, as usual, was fantastic...

Learning points from today:
How to create hours of fun with a straw, I learnt that Beavis has an uncanny way of staying dry on EVERY water ride, despite the rest of us getting soaked and I learnt that the I dont like rooms that spin around.

To summarize

This week has been pretty hectic so I haven't written for a few days. Now it's too hot to write and my laptop is sitting on my knees, heating up and not helping the situation, so I will make this quick.
My week pretty much went like this:

Wednesday:
Leon came round for a meal, which resulted in us going clubbing, on a work night.
Thursday:
A torturous day at work, probably due to the 5 hours sleep from the night before.
Friday:
Pretty excellent as it was my last day at work for nine days.
Saturday:
Busy day, a birthday/wedding party. Then work, then I actually watched the England match, and enjoyed it. And to top off a pretty fun day I sat on the hotel lawn and watched the sun go down. With some random guy who like to imitate 'jungle' noises.

And that brings us to today, pretty uneventful, but oh so hot.
Tomorrow is Alton Towers, which is amazing!

And now I actually think I am melting. So goodnight.

Hostess with the mostess

It's got bad that my crush on Grant Mitchell has progressed to dreaming about him. Thing is, when I look at him I can't see anything attractive, but there's just something...I digust myself a little sometime..

Leon is coming for dinner tonight. I was trying to get everything prepared but as yet I haven't seemed able to move from the couch to the kitchen...ah well. I think spaghetti bolognaise is on the menu, purely because its the only thing I can make without having to go shopping for ingrediants. Well, almost, Leon is bringing an onion. I'm an awesome hostess...

06/06/06

It was so nice and warm today, I even had an ice lolly at lunch and sat in the sun, which was amazing. On the bad side I forgot to park my car in the shade and I burnt my hands on the steering wheel.

Rachel is now Mrs Collins as of 12 o clock today, so congratulations to my best friend!! It sounds so old to be married with kids!

Especially as we act like five year olds when we are together, yes ..we were playing dress up with my mum's hats, and yes it was only a few months ago.

I like todays date - it's so easy to type.

Pacman

As seen on Break.com

This is hilarious! Stacy, thank you for introducing this to my life.

My eyes, it burns, it burns...

It took me an hour to get home from work today, which is not good as its 50 minutes longer than usual. Stupid people crashing their cars. It made me realise why I wanted to sell my car before the summer, the lack of air conditioning, and the fan blowing out warm air is not good.

I'd just like to thank a certain someone for exposing himself to me last night. The first time I've ever had a conversation with someone using a webcam and he thought it was funny to get naked! The nightmares! It made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. (Only kidding... you looked hot!)

If only you knew the power of the dark side...

I've decided that I need a new nap blanket. I have a few that I use but neither of them really 'work.' I mean they keep me warm and all, but neither are long/soft/fluffy enough to satisfy. And after reading about Stacy's amazing new blanket, I have been so jealous. So the deal is: send/buy me a fantastic nap blanket. That's it, it's not so much of a deal, more of a demand.

This weekend was pretty much a write off socially. After almost having a heart attack after checking my bank balance on Friday, I made the trip home and spent the week working. I love, love cleaning toilets. Figuring that I can't actually afford to eat/drink/breathe for another 3 weeks until my pay check comes through, I made the most of raiding Mum's cupboards, and generally hinting that I needed money. Which was pretty profitable. Thank God for parents/grandparents!

Role Play is the Bane of my Life

God I'm looking forward to work tomorrow. We get to do a role play. I LOVE role play. It's like a legal form of torture.

By the way, can someone offer me a job where I don't have to go in every day, I don't have to answer phones, and I can hang around by a pool in the sun all day? Please? Oh, and it needs to pay a pretty good wage too. Thanks. I'll just sit and wait for the offers to come flooding in.

My kitchen is starting to look amazing. I think I need to get some minor celebrity to officially open it when it's finished. Seeing as Big Brother's on now there will be hundred of wannabee celebs queuing up for this job I'm sure.

Entertain me.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Happy Birthday Hot Mark!

Well, maybe not so hot, not your best picture...

Rhiannon's birthday night out!

Highlights of the night:
Learning that Rhiannon can't tell the time on a 24 hour clock.
The amazing food at the Mexican restaurant, and the amazing hats!
The helium balloons, there's nothing funnier than singing happy birthday with a high pitched voice.
Good times.

Constructing a Fort.

Today I was set the mission to build a fort over the weekend in my front room, which was a pretty awesome idea. So now, after a few vodkas, I have decided that it is time to try and decide how to build it. The initial problem is that I don't have removable cushions on my sofa, which means that I have to fashion a fort out of blankets and boxes. And I only have two small boxes. hmm. suggesions please.

Working Nine Til Five

Today I was almost mugged at lunch, well, that might be an exaggeration. The 'mugger' may have been about 6 years old, and his 'weapon' may have been a dirty sewing needle, but even so... Stupid pyke kid. Apparently he wanted my necklace and wasn't going to let me pass, and was going to stab me with this needle. I especially liked the fact that his dirty, scum parents just sat and watched him. Actually, they probably encouraged him.

Anyway, work wasn't good today, random sackings never really do the paranoia any good. Lets hope its not me tomorrow!

But despite of all that, its Friday tomorrow, which is sweet.

Happy Birthday Rhiannon!

Happy Birthday Rhiannon!

Decisions, decisions.

I lost my battle against Big Brother. As much as I hate it, I am now pretty much compulsively watching it. The people are absolute idiots. the biggest freaks ever, and yet I can't stop! I can't decide which to watch though, the British Soap Awards are on too and they are pretty amazing. Aww, choices.

Day out

The hire car I had today really made me question why I keep my battered old corsa. I didn't realise just how slow and awkward my car is, yet for some reason I still have a sentimental attachment to it. I actually feel guilty about thinking about getting another car. Although there is NO way I can afford one now, so this rambling is really pointless. Sorry.

I drove what seems like a million miles today, following the AA route directions. I just love the way they are so accurate then all of a sudden seem to miss out three roundabouts and you have to guess the right way until they pick up again. It's like some little joke the evil AA people have created. Personally I prefer I Spy. However, I'm proud to say I didn't get lost which is probably the first time I can ever say that. Gold star for me!

'Special Lunch Time Trip'

Lunch today was really 'special.' The trip to Halfords for oil, was diverted to Tesco when Richard heard that Tesco do Value Oil for 93p. Despite the fact he's on twice my wages for the same job, he still feels the need to buy Value Oil..

But then comes the real treat! The travel shop at the shopping centre is themed with a big boat down the middle, a Hollywood section, and many other 'novelties.' It also has a cinema at the back, which is made to look like the inside of an airplane. The cinema shows holiday films. So at lunch Richard and I introduced Paul to the cinema, where we watched a very nice film about the Algarve and ate lunch. I don't think Paul fully appreciated this...

Anyway, the countdown to Alton Towers has started! I'm soooooo excited!

Vodka good, wine bad.

Today marks the first day of my giving up wine mission. After the other night, and more importantly the next morning, I have come to the decision that I need to stop drinking wine. So today, whilst in the pub for lunch, I decided it had to be done. Or more importantly, it was suggested to me that it was a good idea...
I've also learnt that I need to stop drinking in work night outs when managers are present. And also that I need to nominate someone to stop me talking when I lose the ability to stop myself...

So anyway, wine is out. I did play with the idea of not drinking for a few weeks but that's not really realistic, and as wine tends to affect me more than anything else, I decided that this was the sensible option.

OK, cocktail hour now.

Happy Birthday Stacy!

Happy Birthday Stacy! Today one of my favourite americans turns 24!




















To my only friend to set herself on fire, whilst she was sleeping, it was the funniest thing I ever saw. Happy Birthday!